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Emotional affairs can be more damaging to a relationship then an affair that involved pure sexual lust or a one night stand. The fact that the heart and deep emotions were involved often strikes the person who has been cheated on much harder than knowing the spouse just fell in bed beside someone once or a couple times. So, is it possible to actually save a marriage after an emotional affair has taken place?

The problem is not so much the affair, but the “emotional” part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.

The first step is for the person who experienced the actual emotional affair to honestly decide whether the affair is genuinely over or not. If there is still deep feelings that are not likely to be let go anytime soon, then there may not be a way to really move the marriage forward. You can’t have a happy marriage if one person’s heart is withdrawn to someone else.

Given that the affair is officially over, that outside emotional connection has been broken, or at least the person is sure that their feelings for their spouse are much more intense than the bond of the affair, then the next scenario moves to the spouse that was cheated on.

The spouse that was actually cheated on is fully entitled to feeling their own set of emotions, but in order to save the marriage they must also open their heart and their mind to the rekindling of romance with their spouse. Both people have to want the marriage to survive or it simply will not do so.

Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.

The journey to save a marriage after this type of devastation must start with open communication. There are lots of hurt emotions at this point, but screaming or getting violent will not work. Both people must talk from the heart and really listen to one another. Then it’s up to each person to take action on a daily basis to restore the flame that they once had for one another. This is not an overnight process, but it can in fact lead to an even happier marriage than what they experienced before the affair.

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